Making Marriage Memories

Used by permission from a recent guest, Pam, who has been married for over 22 years.

I am still trying to come down off my glorious high from Little Stone Cottage (LSC). A Woman’s mind is so complex. It was the most incredible weekend of my life… so much happened on an emotional level for us. We arrived happy and came home happier! So much to think about, I am grateful to the Lord for doing this work through you and your family to make it happen. I just can’t say enough. You may notice an uptick in reservations 😂 I tried not to kiss and tell….it was hard not to at least allude to what can transpire! My girlfriends listened to my stories of transformative emotion and insatiable passion and they too desire to strengthen their marriages with uninterrupted time away. Thank you for such a gift.

Then a few weeks later we received this:

It's been a few weeks, yet not a day has gone by that I haven't thought affectionately about the LSC. Part of me, of course, enjoys the natural reminiscing of the time away, yet a larger part of me yearns to return to the place where I unveiled all my cooped-up passion, spontaneity, and freedom that comes with being alone with your husband.

My husband gifted me at Christmas time with the stay at the LSC based on high recommendations from a couple of friends. I believe it was our daughter who planted the idea into her daddy's mind, for which I am very thankful. Fast forward to June. The day before we left, my husband says, with all kinds of anticipation, "What are we going to do? Where are we going to go? Do you have it all planned out?" You see, he likes to do stuff when he takes those precious vacation days. I get that. Having just read and printed all of the extra attachments, (that Roman sent with the welcome letter) I told him, as I tried to hold back my giddiness (because of the subject matter), that I had to read a few things to him on the way- we had an hour and forty minutes’ drive time. After reading them to him, he said, "Ohhhh...I see. We aren't going anywhere." To my delight, I answered, "Nope." Some of me wondered if he was disappointed with that revelation. However, I refused to let Satan psychologically rob me. I knew what I had in my bag, and there would be no disappointments.

What transpired over those 4 days was nothing short of glorious. You see, I share my husband with everyone. He wears many hats, and he is a good friend to even the feral cats. There is so much to love about Brian, and I'm beyond blessed to call him my beloved. But… A girl needs her man all to herself sometimes. The hustle and bustle of life often puts us into bed late and feeling exhausted...leaving little room for romance and anything louder than a most delicate whisper. With that said, our private time is always exciting and extremely fulfilling. But… A girl needs her man all to herself sometimes.

The Little Stone Cottage granted me the freedom to be the woman that I am, the woman that I desire to be more often, but rarely can be. I was free. I was free to wear a pretty bathrobe all day long which would be presumptuous to wear at home. I was free to proposition my husband at any time without disruption of any kind. I was free to vocally unleash in our passion. And, I was his girl,… for 4 glorious days.

No one called for him, except me. No one needed him, except me. No one touched him, except me.

...and the two became one... I lived in a fantasy world of sorts. Not the weird unrealistic kind. The kind of fantasy world that only God can create for marriage. I wanted my husband's undivided attention. I wanted him to have the same kind of appetite for intimacy that I did. I wanted to love my man over and over and over again. I call that a fantasy because it's rare that it happens at home... in the way I desire.

When we left, I felt a very real heaviness in my heart. We had to return to life the way it was just 4 days earlier. For him, it was his people needed him, the cars needed repaired, the toilet needed installed, the emails needed responded to. For me, all I could wonder was would all those things make him forget about what we just experienced? Would returning to life as we knew it take over and preoccupy his mind to forget about all the passion? Would he even think about me anymore? Would he wish he could go back? There wouldn't be time for us to talk about it. I wanted to talk about it!

My daughter, who sensed my disappointment, asked if I was sad to be home. I couldn't tell her the truth, she wouldn't understand. Yes. I was sad to give him back. So much goes through my mind. I'm still pretty sensitive about it. I think about those 4 days and frankly, I crave them. The passion. The one-to-one conversations, no TV, no/very little cell phone usage, the deck time spent in a bathrobe with no worries of the possibility of an "accidental" exposure, late mornings because of late nights, night time lightening bugs, frogs and crickets serenading us, unawareness of time, the inseparable turtles in the pond, the water noises from the fountain and waterfall, the wild-hearted young horse sprinting in the neighboring pasture, the provided reading materials encouraging deep sexual intimacy, the beautiful marriage bed, the inviting shower area, spirit-filled home decor, wholesome organic goodies, the homemade delicious and romantic dinners outside...tables for two... The passion and spark between us. I was his, and he was mine. Enough said…

We know we have to come back. I want to experience the LSC in the winter to enjoy the fireplace, the massage table and the hot tub. We didn't get to use the massage table, swing or ride the bikes. And, way to go Roman... you got us hooked on a Traeger grill now!! That was some fantastic tasting steak, porkchops and baked potatoes!

Thank you both for your deep understanding and vision for biblical marriage and pursuing that vision with the Little Stone Cottage. Our healthy marriage was made stronger and helped us to cherish, even more, the gift of each other. God is so good to us. WE ARE BLESSED!

With joy, A recent Guest

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Roman's Thoughts:

Some amazing perception and wise insightful words in the above writing!

Marriage for all our excuses about what our spouse could do different, is what we make it. Marriage is an institution that pays dividends if you pay interest. Good marriages are built “not on the flimsiness” of romantic love, as wonderful and right as that is. Good marriages are built but on Christ the solid rock. Lots of grace and genuine heart felt forgiveness. They are built with intentional time and deep emotional sharing, prayer and practice. I am certain that most Christian couples intend to have a marriage like that. This is what we desire to promote here at the Little Stone Cottage. As intentional as you should be in building such a marriage, we have been intentional in providing the amenities and atmosphere to share love and romance. The kind that promotes the passionate pursuit of love we find in the Song of Songs. Deep emotional love experiences as unsustainable as they are, can take you to a new level of empathetic sharing and caring. These high points in a relationship give us a glimpse into the way Christ pursues and enjoys relationship with his bride. We pray that for every couple that spends time together here. We pray God would breathe into “that true marriage” new life…, new depth, and a realistic vision for what marriage can be if the good is truly and persistently pursued. We hope you take time to hear each other’s heartbeat for what you want to become as a couple. This is not as easy as we dreamed it would be. Right? But you can do it. Stay on the rock, stay connected and stay in love.

So, if you were married more than a few months you know that making marriage work, … well it is that, its work. And you will “find a way to stay connected and make it intimate and fun or you will find an excuse.” Make time to celebrate together and make that celebration extra special by planning and anticipating what could be special for you two. If you dreamed a little or God forbid fantasized about “some deep lovin,” what would it look like? Its ok,… these are thoughts about what you and your very own spouse would do if you pulled the stops. Push your limits on time and what you are willing to give to make it especially intimate and you might be greatly rewarded. Thoughtful and romantic gestures are always appreciated.

Remember “Marriage is an institution that pays dividends if you pay interest.” How much interest have you paid recently? Here at the Little Stone Cottage, we aim to set up the ambience and atmosphere to put you both in a generous and loving mood. You might have forgotten what it’s like to be a generous and loving mood and not be interrupted? If you did forget this will jog your memory and give new perspective on shared passion and love, so that you can be encouraged as the lemons in life assail your relationship.

Want something even more special to surprise your spouse? Call or text Roman at 717-278-1070 with your ideas or questions. We do honeymoons… and reenactments of said honeymoons... We do surprises, especially Romantic ones. Life is after all what you make of it… so include some romantic couple time now and then, and remind each other again why you got married in the first place.